Journey to Vietnam

First Steps

2007-11-19T12:51:00.000-08:00

No, I don't have pictures of it, but Ilona took her first steps last night! And, I am happy to stay, it was me, her Mum, she was toddling to. She only took a few unassisted steps before falling into my arms laughing and clapping, but they definitely were unassisted.

Just thought I'd share!

Love Tina

Erin, this is for you!

2007-11-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Top Picture =Ilona

Bottom Picture = Maia

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I've posted. It has been busy, between work and home life with the girls. Plus I'm still figuring out some quirks with our camera and getting images loaded up. I have vowed to be better about taking pictures of the girls... mostly because I know that they will want them when they get older.

Anyway, here are a couple of pictures of the girls. They already look alot different than this - these were taken in September - but it is better than nothing for now! I'll get some newer pictures up soon.

The girls are doing great. Ilona keeps fooling us into thinking that she'll be walking at any minute and just keeps holding off. Maia, who is physically not ready to walk yet, doesn't know it and keeps doing all sorts of dare devil things which she thinks very funny.

Ilona is a pretty serious, focused girl but when she graces you with a smile it just lights you up. She likes to study things and figure out how they work. When she laughs she has the biggest belly laugh you can imagine. She is very easy and so pleasant to be around.

Maia is a little minx. She laughs and smiles all the time. She is very social. Her new best friends are the dogs. She loves to watch them. She reaches to touch their noses and then throws her head back cracking up.

The dogs are really awesome with both girls. Last thing before bed the dogs patrol around upstairs and push into each of the girls rooms, walk up to the cribs, put their paws up to check inside to make sure everything is ok. Only then, once they check in on the girls, will they settle down for the night.

We are really lucky that the girls are continuing to sleep wonderfully. Last night they went to bed around 7:00 pm. I woke up this morning about 5:15, bathed, dressed, made coffee, looked at catalogs and finally decided to go wake them up around 7:00. That is 12 hours!

We are all very happy and it is just a wonder and a joy to have been blessed enough to be Maia and Ilona's parents.

Love to all,

Tina

More Alike and More Apart

2007-08-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

Not much new to report, and not much time either. Just a quick note that as Maia is growing she is starting to look more and more like Ilona. We are all starting to make mistakes about who is who!

Also, since Ilona has decided she only wants to sleep at 45 minute intervals, and we are constantly worried she is going to wake up her sister, we've decided to move them into two separate rooms. We tried that last night and had the best night sleep we've had in a while. The girls are so different from each other, aside from their appearances, that it seems that as unique individuals they need to have their unique spaces right now.

Also, to ponder, I find it interested that the girls DNA is exactly the same, and their environment has been exactly the same yet their personalities are so very different. I guess the piece that is different is their souls. It seems like some proof of something other than that which we can define and measure. I love it.

Love Tina

Finally ... An Update!

2007-08-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

So sorry for the delay in posting. We've had our hands full. Quickly, here is a summary:

1. The trip home - was hell. There were several delays and door to door was close to 40 hours. We were delayed in Atlanta several hours and when we finally got on the plane we sat on the runway for hours in 104 degree heat. The girls were as good as could be expected but they were just over the whole thing. If they went to sleep they would wake up, look around and whine that they were still in a plane. I can totally understand.

2. The adjustment - the girls are doing great, although their previous 10 hour sleeping per night was reduced to 1 hour when we first got home. We 've been building it up from there trying to get them back on schedule. Both Maia and Ilona have had sleep issues, mostly related to adjustment as would be expected with an institutionalized child. First we went through some issues with Maia, which resolved quickly. We are currently going through some issues with Ilona. This is totally normal and to be expected but knowing that it is normal doesn't make us parents feel more rested and refreshed! They are both extremely mobile, which we weren't counting on before we left. We thought we'd have a little time before they were all over the place but they've hit the ground running, almost literally. Ilona is trying to walk (she couldn't even crawl when we picked her up) and Maia is doing this weird little crawl that propels her across the room faster than can be beleived.

3. Their health - is great. On Wednesday we went to a well known International Adoption Department in one of our major hospitals and spent over 5 hours with a doctor and occupational therapists that specialize in internationally adopted kids. To say they were pleased with Maia and Ilona would be an understatement. Both are bonding extremely well, which they were pleased about most of all as they see alot of bonding issues. Ilona was rated as being above her age in development and Maia right on. The only issue is that Maia isn't even on the height-weight chart and the doctor said that if she hadn't examined her she'd say she was "failure to thrive" however she is clearly thriving. Although we are running a bunch of tests they think she is just small and didn't get the food attention at the orphanage. She should catch up somewhat but may always be on the small side. The only thing is the doctor does not want them in daycare for at least another two months, and doesn't want us to use a nanny either. The doctor wants at least one of us, if not both of us, to be with them for this time. I am definitely not going to be able to comply with that directive however we are hoping to work something out where Al can stay home with them with a helper.

We go out quite a bit, to restaurants and other outings. The girls are really great with other people but are starting to want to make sure that Mom and Dad are around. Whereever we go we create quite a stir. This morning after church we went to our diner where all the waitresses ran up to the girls, grabbed them and took them around to all of the other tables and back into the kitchen. They are known as "the stars" there. Maia just laughs at everyone she sees, Ilona just checks everyone out.

My Mom has been with us since we got home, thank the Lord. I don't know how we'd function without the extra pair of hands but suffice to say we'd probably still have our suitcases piled in the kitchen. I don't know if there are any Mom's of twins out there that have handled both kids by themselves, but God Bless You... I cannot even imagine how it would be possible.

I'm sorry it has been so long since I've posted but between the girls sleep schedules and the issues we've had with our phone lines I just haven't been able to keep up. Also, if you've sent me any emails I probably haven't gotten to them yet, my service is excutiatingly slow and even though we just signed up for the fastest service available we are still struggling.

Thanks for all of your best wishes, thoughts and prayers. I can't tell you how much it means to all of us that you've been there through the journey with us. The girls are just so lucky to have you as a community. What a beautiful thing.

Love from Tina

First and Last Post from Hanoi

2007-08-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

As you've probably figured out by now I do not have easy access to the computer in Hanoi. Plus, if anyone from work is reading this I cannot access my work email. We'll be home Thursday afternoon at 5:00 - hopefully - so we can catch up on all the fun stuff (Holly) on Friday.

A quick briefing:

Sunday - we left HCMC for Hanoi. The girls were great on the flight. Maia slept the whole time except when we were landing and her ears bothered her for a minute. Carolyn had Ilona cracking up in the back of the plane so loudly that the entire cabin was laughing. We got to the Sheraton and settled in for a few days stay. The room is really small. Al and I had to move all the furniture around to try to make room for two cribs. It is a room, not an apartment like we had in Saigon, so it has been a bit harder. Our luggage is in the bathtub, chairs are piled up on each other, etc, but we are making do.

Monday - Went for a walk in the morning, bought some groceries. We'll be glad to have US diapers. The diapers here are like paper. We had our interview with the US Embassy Monday afternoon, which went well. I met a wonderful family (Sarah) who had been following our blog and were at the Embassy at the same time. It was great to meet them and I hope they get all of their paperwork done in time to catch their flight Friday. We'll have our fingers crossed for you!

Tuesday - We took a tour of Hanoi, which was great. We went to the Presidential complex, the tomb of Ho Chi Minh, the one pillar pagoda, the temple of literature and then into old city. Then home for naps for the girls. At 4:30 we picked up their passports with visa entries into the US, so we were free to go at that point. Thank God. We are all just dying to get home. The other families that we are traveling with are leaving after us - we are the first ones out by several days - so it is really hard for them. We are all just wanting to be home and get settled in. Living out of the suitcase for three weeks with the little ones has been a challenge.

Wednesday - we are leaving for the airport at 9:00 pm tonite. We'll fly from Hanoi to Saigon leaving at 1:00 am Thursday. Then we'll catch our 15 hour flight to the states. We are scheduled to land back at home at around 5:00 pm Thursday. I CANNOT WAIT. We just want to be home. I think I've said that enough.

Sorry, no pictures to post, and this will be the last post until we are home.

Thanks to everyone for reading our journey and cheering for us from afar. We can't wait to see you.

Love Tina

PS- Jessica - Ilona is in 3-6 month clothes. We think she weighs about 16 lbs. I'm not sure of her pampers size. We bought huggies with us but they are long since used up. They are using small Korean diapers now. Good luck!

Friday

2007-08-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

Please note I have uploaded several posts below this one. I've had a dreadful time getting a connection the past couple of days. Lots of error messages, page not availables, etc. There have been blackouts here in Saigon so that might have been part of the problem.

Friday we went to the Cu Chi Tunnels. This was a from the war when they Vietcong created an underground village of sorts. Not my thing but I knew what I was getting into before I went so enough said on that front.

Attached are a couple of pictures of the girls.

1. Cute sisters, Maia on left. Check out her hair. It is growing straight up the back of her head - which is probably why the orphanage kept their hair cut short. Ilona's is starting to do that too. Sooner or later it will come back down, right?

2. and 3. I'll let you decide which is which.

Wasn't I cruel to put those pants on them? Maia's were so big her Dad had them pulled all the way up to her armpits. I pulled them back down. Obviously we are going to need some fashion intervention.

Michele, thanks for your comments. They are starting to look more and more alike. They are 8 months now.

Love Tina

Cyclos

2007-08-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

On Thursday we took a 4 hour tour on cyclos (pronounced sicklow). I was nervous at first, because the traffic here is insane and to be out in the street crossing major intersections, riding on the equivalent of I95 with a baby strapped to your chest seemed a little reckless. However I did relax after we got moving. We went to two different temples which were beautiful. On one of the last legs of the tour I saw a little shack near one of the temples that had a ceremonial outfit on display. I had our guide help me neogtiate the purchase because it was so unbelievably beautiful. Bright red with lots of beads. I really loved the headdress and boots but there was no way we could figure how to bring them on the plane. I did get the robe, which turns out was one that the Buddhist priests wear during some of their ceremonies.

I have a couple of pictures attached.

Oh, one thing about the cyclos... when you are at an intersection you can see the light counting down from green till when it will turn red. 10, 9, 8, 7 etc. As the cyclos do not stop for the lights and just barrel headlong into oncoming traffic this count down is actually quite helpful. It is nice to know the exact moment you are going to die.

1. Al in cyclo with Ilona

2. Cyclos lined up outside of a temple

3. Tina in priest robe

Love Tina

Room Service

2007-08-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of our room service waiter. When he delivers food he comes in, sits down and stays. Here he is with Ilona. Last night we actually had to ask him to not wake the babies up in their cribs, he loves them so much. I sort of felt bad, but the girls were overtired and had just gone to sleep. We'll give him a chance to play more with the girls today. Can you imagine such service at home? Wow.

Love Tina

Swim Day - Maia in Pink and Ilona in Green

2007-08-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

Doctors Pictures

2007-08-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

1. Ilona being weighed

2. Ilona on the way to the dr

3. Ilona's bubble

4. Maia being weighed

5. Maia on the way to the dr

Erin, thanks for your comment. Actually both girls have rashes now. At first I was thinking it was a reaction to the awful laundry detergent here that is used on the sheets however when Maia started her antibiotic she developed a rash similar to Ilona's. Both of the girls are off antibiotics as of last night so we'll see if the rash subsides. Otherwise we'll go to the SOS clinic to get some cream!

Thanks, Tina

Business Done in Saigon

2007-07-31T19:12:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 1

We are having a lot of problems getting connection today. Not sure if this will upload. We can’t get to any of the email servers yet today either. There have been a couple of power outages in Saigon today so not sure if that is what is causing the problems or not.

We are officially finished with our work in Saigon as of yesterday afternoon. We took the girls to Cho Ray Hospital for their official check up. This is the only hospital that is CDC approved so it is the hospital that the paperwork for the girls has to come from.

Both girls checked out ok. The doctor tried to examine Ilona twice because he wasn’t able to easily differentiate them. He said both of them were small but very strong. He told Al he had to come back to adopt twin boys so that he will not be outnumbered in the house.

None of the scales here are accurate, but Holly, if you are reading this, Maia weighed in at 11 lbs. Ilona at 14 lbs. At 8 months. They’ll be like newborns to you!

We received their Vietnamese passports yesterday so we are free to travel to Hanoi now. The pictures on their passports were taken when they first arrived at the orphanage and it is almost impossible to tell them apart. I think they looked a lot more identical when they were young before Maia decided she didn’t want to eat as much as her sister. Once Maia catches up to Ilona we think it will be hard to tell them apart again.

Unfortunately because of the time of year there are no hotels available in Hanoi, and the flights out are all pretty much booked. Otherwise, we could probably finish up in Vietnam 5 or 6 days early and leave at the end of this week or next Monday. Unfortunately because of the hotel and air situation we are staying here in Saigon until Sunday even though our official business is done now, just because we have a hotel room here and we don’t have reservations in Hanoi until Sunday. Sort of frustrating to know we could get through the process early and get home but are stuck here.

At this point I really just want to go home. I’ve had enough of Saigon and don’t really feel the need to be out in the heat battling the traffic and street vendors. Today we may just stay by the pool.

Plus, Maia is not liking her antibiotic too much and is sick to her stomach a lot so I don’t want to subject her to hours of heat.

Tomorrow, if Maia is feeling better, we will take a few hours and go on a cyclo tour of the temples in the area.

Both of the girls are doing well. Both slept around 9 hours last night, so we don’t have too many complaints! They have very good natures and are happy and charming. Their hair is starting to grow back. The orphanage cut their hair very short before we picked them up but it is growing now and sticking straight up in the back of their heads. Funny.

We are very lucky.

Hope to load some more pictures up later today if I can get connection.

Love Tina

misc pictures of Mekong Delta

2007-07-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

1. Mekong Suicide Canoes

2. Mekong Boats

3. Ready for CIS interview

4. Mekong Boat

5. Carolyn and Ilona

6. Maia

7. Mekong Ferry

8. Ilona not liking the Delta (sideways, sorry)

9. Mekong Boat

My New #1 Dumbest Thing I've Ever Done

2007-07-28T04:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday July 28

Today we went on a trip to the Mekong Delta. We left at 8:00 am and got to the Delta around 10:30. We caught a ferry - loosely termed - to Unicorn Island in the Delta. It was actually a nice day for the trip. Not as hot as it had been with the sun in and out. We walked through a village and went to a native bee farm, had honey tea, saw some examples of native dance and tried some interesting local fruits. Dragon fruit was one, a couple of the others I couldn't begin to pronounce.

We then walked to the next step, which was the point of the title of my post.

Formerly, the dumbest thing I think I've ever done was llama trekking. Particulary paying some llama farmer $50 to walk his llama in the rain, getting peed on by said llama and had one's llama spit on Al (although I could sort of sympathize with the sentiment because the trekking thing was his idea). Today I topped it.

We walked out of the forest in the Mekong Delta and were told that we had to get into these very low dug out canoes to get back to our boat. Carolyn went first, with Ilona in a snuggli, and then her boat took off, without us. There went our daughter, in good hands of course, down this swampy river and disappearing into the overgrowth. Then I quick got into our canoe and plopped down hoping to catch up with Carolyn and Ilona. Al stepped in next with Maia strapped to him and almost overturned the entire boat. The thing tipped completely up - since he stepped on the edge instead of on the bottom - and we were at a 45% degree angle. I can't believe he didn't fall into the river with Maia strapped to him. What on earth were we thinking? The damn boat was like an inch over the water, Maia was holding onto Al for dear life, our boats were colliding with other boats in the delta and Maia was staring at me over Al's shoulder like she couldn't believe we had been so stupid. Plus, they told us to keep our fingers in the boat because of crocodiles. Was this a joke? You've got to be kidding me? We had two babies with us. Apparently the place used to swarm with them. Anyway, how does any of that add up to something one should be doing on a Saturday morning just a couple of days after picking up your new daughters? I think Maia and Ilona would be justified in saying that they wanted to go back to the orphanage. We made it back to this docking station in the middle of the delta where we had to jump up without overturning the canoe, Al with Maia strapped to him, so that we could catch our "ferry" back to our starting point. Not the smartest thing I've ever agreed to and I think definitely beating out llama trekking.

Anyway, Carolyn got the funniest picture of Ilona looking totally disenchanted with the whole thing. We'll try to get it loaded up tomorrow.

Love Tina

Misc Pictures

2007-07-27T03:37:00.000-07:00

1. Ilona playing with Maia's feet

2. Ilona

3. Maia

4. Sisters (Ilona left, Maia right)

5. Sisters (Ilona left, Maia right)

6. Ilona Snuggling after swimming - sideways, sorry

7. Maia bundled after swimming

8. Ilona and Mom

9, Maia with Aunt Carolyn

10. Getting ready to swim

I have more pictures to load up but blogger won't let me so we'll just do these for now.

Also, Erin, I forgot to answer your guestion... we believe the girls are identical because they are mirror images, meaning one has a birthmark on the right and one on the left, one has a crinkle in the ear on the right, the other on the left. We'll see once we get home, though.

Love to all,

Tina

Misc Doings

2007-07-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

Friday, July 27 4:00

Yesterday was an uneventful day. Some shopping, some swimming, some napping. The girls are sleeping between 8 - 10 hours each night, which is a dream. Maia is eating like a machine, Ilona not as much.

Today Carolyn and I ran a couple of errands while Al stayed home with the kids. Then we had our interview with Immigration, which we hope went well. We'll know later today whether they approved our immigration requests. Al will be leaving shortly to go pick up the girls Vietnamese passports so that we can take them up to Hanoi next.

I am making this a brief post because I know you really want to see pictures, which I will load up next.

Holly, thanks for you comment! You crying made me cry.

Erin, thanks for your comment too. I read it to Al so that he could appreciate how lucky we are. Glad your boys are doing ok now!

Love to all,
Tina

Shopping, Meetings and International Health Care

2007-07-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 26, 7:00 pm

Yesterday we all went to the shopping district on an outing. The girls did great their first time in the strollers. Mom, Dad and Carolyn were a little nervous because we had to cross many busy streets and in Vietnam the way you do this is step out in the middle of on coming traffic and the traffic will swerve around you. You must not stop or falter in the middle of the street because that changes your gait and therefore changes the timing of the oncoming vehicles that are trying to miss you. What a ridiculous system. You feel suicidal just stepping right off a perfectly safe curb into oncoming traffic of hundreds of cars and motorbikes. The system seems to work, though. I don't know how, but it does seem to work.

We went to a tailor that the agency had recommended where we bought lots of things. I bought au dai’s (tradition Vietnamese outfits) for the girls, two in each size, matching colors. 24 all together. They are truly gorgeous. I am also having Christening outfits made for them as well. We were going to do more shopping however the clouds were starting to boil over and we decided with Ms. Ilona still having an infection we didn’t want to risk the long walk back to the hotel in the rain. We’ll go back today to so Carolyn can do some more damage. I really was not planning on bringing back a lot of souvenirs or gifts because I knew I would have my hands full on the return trip, but I did want to get the girls beautiful outfits from their country that they should be able to wear until they are 12-14 years old.

Al and I had a meeting with the agency from 4-6 last night to review the paperwork we’ll be needing for the balance of our meetings. The Vietnamese portion of our adoption is complete. We received a stack of documents on each girl, including translated copies of their birth certificates, abandonment reports, hospital records, etc. We are lucky that of the families going through the process with us we were the ones that had a considerable amount of background on the girls and the circumstances of their birth and relinquishment. This will be a blessing for them when they are older.

We did have a bit of an incident last night. I will spare you the details but we did have to take Maia to the clinic late last night. This is an international clinic so supposed to provide good care. Let’s just say that after last night I continue to pray that we all remain in good health through the balance of the trip. Yikes. I was pretty unhappy with the treatments they were suggesting, was arguing with the pediatrician (who was on the phone) and finally won. Maia is fine, but not thanks to the ridiculous clinic. I was so glad to have Carolyn, who has been a nurse for 20+ years, by my side. Anyway, alls well that ends well.

Today will probably be a free day, but tomorrow Maia and Ilona’s Vietnamese passports should be ready. Then we will have an appointment with CIS, probably on Monday. Once we pass the CIS interview we will be allowed to schedule the remaining appointment in HCMC, a visit to the Cho Ray Hospital for the “official” medicals on both girls.
Oh, by the way, Maia does weigh 12 lbs, not the 16 lbs the home visit doctor told us. She is snarfing down cereal, doesn’t like formula, and I noticed today that her legs are getting chubby already. They were very thin when we picked her up.

Ilona, who probably weighs more like 16 lbs rather than the 19 lbs the doctor told us, is getting really strong. Yesterday she came very close to sitting up by herself and also to crawling.

It is amazing what just a couple days of attention can do for these guys.

I’ll send more updates later, and hopefully more pictures.

Also, still having trouble connecting to some outside internet services. We think it might be a hotel firewall issue. Most of the time we see “page not available” error messages and it often takes several attempts to send an email through. I hope all is well with everyone.

Love Tina

More Pictures from Yesterday

2007-07-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

1. Maia reading

2. Maia cracking up

3. Pretty Ilona

4. Both Girls - Maia left, Ilona right

5. Getting ready for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony - Maia left, Ilona right

Another Great Night, An Unexpected Guest, Maybe the Funniest Thing I've Ever Seen and Definitely The Sweetist Thing I've Ever Heard

2007-07-24T15:51:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, July 25 6:00 am

We had another great night last night. Both girls are still asleep. Maia went to sleep around 8:00 pm and Ilona around 10:00 pm. Maia has slept straight through and we woke Ilona up once to give her medicine (she was very insulted but went right back to sleep).

Have I mentioned the restaurant here at the hotel, Ciao Cafe? The first couple of days we went there for breakfast where they gave us a pretty basic menu. I asked if they did room service and they said they did. I don't think they offer it up normally but they are very accomodating. I asked if they had a menu to give me and they found something and handed it to me. When I got a chance to look at it the menu was great, alot of variety.

The last few meals we've had brought in, just because Ilona was feeling sick and we were a little tired. The food is amazing. I had the best red curry I've ever had for breakfast yesterday and for dinner I had the best satay I ever had. Dinners for the three of us are costing around $9. I wish I could live in a place like this. Anyway, the people here in Vietnam are really great and love love love the babies. Last night our dinner delivery guy, who we had seen before, came rushing in the room with our dinners, quickly dumped them on the counter shouting "beebees? beebees?" All he wanted to do was see the girls. He plopped himself down on the blanket on the floor and proceeded to stay for quite some time to play with Maia and Ilona. "I love beebees!" It was a while before we decided to go ahead and eat even though he was still there admiring the girls. We weren't sure of the ettiquette never having had a delivery person come on in and stay.

*** Warning, Disgusting Material Below ***
Yesterday something really funny happened. I was working on loading the pictures up on the computer and Al was playing with the girls on the floor. He said he was going to change Ilona. Turns out, when he got into the diaper it was quite a messy one. I wasn't paying attention to what was going on until I heard an awful retching noise. I looked over my shoulder and Al was hunched over retching like a cat trying to get rid of a hair ball. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was like a cat with a hair ball. I jumped up and started laughing so hard my knees almost gave out. He kept dry heaving and dry heaving until he got over to the couch on his hands and knees and laid his head on the cushion like he was going to faint. I swear I never laughed so hard in my entire life. I am weeping with laughter just trying to write these words now. Can you believe it? I asked him what he expected, that his girls were so special that they were going to poop out flowers? I guess he is going to have to get over that pretty soon! Really! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would never have believed it. Just thought I'd share.

On the flip side, when we were going to sleep last night Al said to me "I have a secret." I asked him what it was and he said "I can't wait to go to sleep so that I can wake up and play with the girls tomorrow." Isn't that sweet?

About the girls:

Maia is really funny. She never cries but does crack up alot. She is starting to eat alot of cereal. We think that the way the orphanage fed them, by adding cereal to the bottle and then propping the bottle has led to her being so small. She doesn't love the bottle and when she does have one she takes her time and likes a slow drip. The bottles the orphanage gave us had huge holes and even a much smaller hole seemed to choke her. She was probably just turning her head away from the bottle to keep from choking in the orphanage and thereby not getting enough food. She is making up for that now. The orphanage gave us a warning in the report telling us how difficult she was to feed and that we'd have to watch her. It was sort of disapproving. I had to laugh because it reminded me of how I found out my doctor had put a similar disapproving note in my file saying that I get mad if I am kept waiting at the doctors office. Ha Ha.

Ilona is a much better bottle eater but hasn't figured out the cereal thing yet. I think she liked having the cereal in the bottle because it was easier than having to figure out how to use her mouth. Last night she started to open up more to us. Al was holding her and I was playing with her and she started letting out huge belly laughs. We hadn't heard this from her yet but the orphanage had said that she had very large laughs. We got a taste of them last night.

Later today I'll load up some misc pictures that haven't gotten loaded up yet. We hope to hit the streets for some shopping today and maybe to the pool.

We probably won't have any official adoption meetings until Friday.

Love to all,
Tina

Tuesday 7/24

2007-07-24T02:59:00.000-07:00

Today was a lazy day. We really just hung around the apartment all day getting to know each other and catching up on our sleep. Ilona, too, has been sick so we started her on antibiotics this afternoon. Hopefully she'll start feeling better soon and won't pass her cooties on to the rest of the family.

We hope to do some shopping tomorrow and also maybe hit the pool.

The girls are a delight. Maia does not cry, she giggles. Ilona will sometimes yell at us but only if we aren't getting her. Ilona seems to have a little more difficulty sleeping. I think the poor little girl might be having some nightmares. I am sure it is a confusing and scary time for them, losing everything they've known and being handed over to strangers who look different, sound different, smell different. They are doing great with the transition.

Plus, on the most amazing side, so far there have been almost no signs of attachment issues. The girls make incredible eye contact with us and follow our voices around the room. They are doing really well.

More tomorrow, or later today if anything of interest happens.

Sorry no more pictures yet today. We'll take some and post either later today or tomorrow.

Love Tina

Here They Are! Pictures from Yesterday. Finally!

2007-07-23T22:27:00.001-07:00

Here you go, folks. These are some pictures from yesterday. I figured out how to get them loaded but not in the correct order, but I am sure that doesn't matter. Here is the key:

1. Maia
2. Ilona
3. The New Family
4. Ilona with Mom
5. Maia with Dad
6. The New Family
7. The New Family
8. Ilona with Mom
9. Maia with Dad
10. Maia with Dad
11. New Family with Orphanage Nannies
12. New Family
13. Nervous expected parents at the hotel prior to going to orphanages
14. Mom with Ilona
15. Mom with Ilona
16. Dad with Maia
17. Very Happy Family

I'm SO sorry!

2007-07-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 7/24 5:30 am

Guys, I've tried three times to load images up from yesterday and am having alot of connection issues. I know you don't want words but pictures and I am working on it. In the meantime I am going to give you words, just so that you know that everything is ok on this end!

To The Orphanage
We left to go to the orphanage around 9:00 am Monday and got there about an hour later. The inside of the orphanage was really pretty. Stone walls, palm trees, gardens. This particular orphanage is supposed to be one of the nicest and I can see why. We were greeted by a very smiling happy grandma type woman who was so excited to see us. She brought us into a lobby and we were served tea. Then a group of nannies brought the babies in. Jayden, the son of another couple, came in first immediately followed by Ilona. I recognized her immediately! She had a new cute outfit and matching hat. I reached up to take her and she went to me right away. No crying. Then in came Maia. She had a similar new outfit and went right to Al. She couldn't take her eyes off of him - just laid in his arms and reached her hands out to touch his face.

The nannies were all smiling but you could tell they were sad as well to be losing the girls. They called Ilona "Cuci" her knickname which means flower. They called Maia "Teeny" because she absolutely the teeny tiniest little girl you’ve ever seen. I was surprised to hear her nickname because as some of you know (right Mel?) Teeny is also a knickname of mine.

One nanny in particular was really crying a lot to see the girls go and I felt really bad for her. The work with the children so closely and get so attached. We are lucky the girls were in such a loving environment.

We then went out onto a covered porch and walked down the porch to another room where there were loads of fresh flowers under a statue of Ho Chi Minh and a banner. We were served more tea, signed a book and gave a gift of a huge suitcase full of toys to the orphanage director and assistant directors. They took lots of pictures of us for their records and then we were loaded back in the van to come back to the hotel for a few hours before our Giving and Receiving Ceremony.

Giving and Receiving Ceremony
We left the hotel to go to the official building for adoption ceremonies. We signed a number of papers around a big conference table, took pictures under Vietnamese banners with the officials and that was that. As far at the Vietnamese Government is concerned the girls are now ours.

Vietnamese Immigration Application
Al left with the other fathers to go to the Vietnamese Immigration Office while Carolyn and I stayed home with the girls. They were really happy and content on a blanky on the floor. They may be just stunned and confused but it really seems that they are pretty relaxed and interested in all of the doings.

Doctors Visit
Around 8:00 pm we had a hotel visit from the agency doctor who came to check the girls out for us. Ilona had just wakened from a nap and Maia was still sleeping. Ilona was weighed in at 19 lbs. We do not believe the accuracy of the scale as it involved Al standing on it with and without a baby and the needle was bouncing around. Ilona has a cold, which we noticed right away, so we are giving her OTC meds and watching her. She was not digging the exam and gave Al stink eye that he wasn’t rescuing her. We woke Maia up for her exam. She weighed in at 16 lbs which we know is not accurate. We think she is much closer to 12 pounds. She is so teeny tiny that she is still in 0-3 month clothes. Ilona is in 3-6 month. Maia was a good girl through the whole thing and both girls were declared in good health.

We fed the babies after the doctor left, giving them formula, yogurt and cereal. They had never been fed with a spoon before (the orphanage put everything into a bottle and then propped the bottles) so we are still learning how to work our mouths. But some made it down the hatch.

The girls went to bed at 10:30 pm and are still asleep now at 6:45 am. We can’t believe our luck with the sleep and are not counting on it continuing but are hoping for it. In the orphanage the girls were up at 9:00 pm, midnight and 3:00 am. We like our schedule better. Although I still have not slept more than three hours a night for some reason. The girls are still sleeping now and I’ve been up since 3:00 am.

Here’s what we know about the girls so far:

Ilona
- is very watchful and alert
- lets you know pretty fiercely if she doesn’t like something
- is said by the orphanage to have a huge belly laugh
- is said by the orphanage to be a very laid back baby
- is a good eater

Maia
- laughs an awful lot
- is very very teeny
- almost never cries
- is very content and curious

Both girls are rocking back and forth trying to crawl. Neither can situp on their own although Ilona is farther along than Maia. Neither have any sign of teeth yet. We estimate their development at around 6 months, instead of their 8 month chronological age, however we think they will catch back up quickly. There is absolutely no sign of any attachment issues. I can hardly believe it. Their eye contact is so great, and they are already bonding with us if you can believe it.

Both girls think their Dad is a total crack up. Ilona just stares at him until she can’t help but smile, Maia giggles and cracks up hysterically as soon as he starts talking with her.

That is the long and long of our day yesterday.

I think we are very lucky.

Pictures coming as soon as I can!

Love Tina

Dancing Butterflies

2007-07-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Those of you at work will recognize this title. I now totally get it. Al and I went to bed around 1:00 am with a wakeup call set for 5:00 am. I woke up with dancing butterflies around 3:30 am. Maybe my body is trying to get me used to less sleep.

Anyway, today is the day. We still have some things to do to get ready for the girls (mostly paperwork) and will leave the hotel around 8:00 am to go pick them up.

I think these darn dancing butterflies are going to be with me for a couple more hours yet.

I will update you with pictures just as soon as I can.

Love Tina

More Pictures from the Trip and Sunday

2007-07-22T14:46:00.001-07:00

1.Downtown HCMC

2. Korean Airlines 747

3. Korean Airlines lunch

4. Carolyn and Tina at the Ciao Cafe

5. Carolyn and Tina in Tina and Al's apartment

Pictures from Sunday 7/22/07

2007-07-22T07:27:00.001-07:00

1. Opera House
2. Sleeping Vendor
3. Street Vendors
4. Notre Dame Cathedral
5. View from hotel balcony
6. City Hall and Garden

More Doings Today

2007-07-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Sunday, July 22 7:45 pm

Today we met the four families that just proceeded us through the process. They were heading off to Hanoi to complete the last leg of their trip. It was great to see everyone looking so happy, albeit tired and anxious to get back home.

From them we absconded strollers and bouncy chairs to use while we are here in HCMC.

After the group left for the airport our guides took us on a walking tour of HCMC. I'm not complaining but hot doesn't even begin to describe it. I have never experienced anything like it.

We walked for quite some time seeing some of the historic buildings and gardens. We also went on a thorough jaunt through the shopping district. Carolyn and I raced into a local bookstore and finally managed to purchase the latest Harry Potter. This one, though, has a different cover than anything that we've seen, plus we paid too much for it, but it will be interesting to see if it is the official version or one that has been created for the Asian market (it is my understanding that they have something like 20 Harry Potter titles here - so not the real deal).

We went to a really nice hotel in downtown HCMC for lunch - The New World Cafe. The best part was it was freezing inside. Our fearless leader - or maybe I should say President - stayed there in October for a day and his needs cost our government $6 million. Anyway, enough on that subject.

Most everyone had this enormous breakfast buffet. I had a kiddie burger with no bun to try to get my vertigo back under control before Monday (I think that the plane ride set off the bout of vertigo).

Then back to the hotel to see if I can start and finish 600+ pages of Harry Potter before tomorrow when thereafter I may not have too much time to read.

I will upload this post and then will work on loading up some images for you tonite if possible.

I know we better get it figured out because after all, the images of the girls are what everyone is waiting for!

Love to all,
Tina and Al

We are in Vietnam

2007-07-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

Sunday, July 22, 9:30 am

Sorry for the delay in posting. Around 2:00 am this morning I tried to update the blog but had some issues because it was in Vietnamese not English. Hopefully we have that corrected now.

We spent 31 hours traveling from door to door. We had a brief and pleasant plane ride from our local airport to the US hub but then sat on the runway for almost two hours waiting to take off due to storms in the area. We had a pretty darn unpleasant ride from the US to Seoul. The trip was 15 hours, of which 14 we experienced severe turbulance. It was like being on a roller coaster for 14 hours. I kept thinking the turbulance would stop at any minute but no such luck. It actually lasted like 14 hours. There was such movement that I still feel like I am moving 12 hours after we got off the plane. At one point, our earth angel cousin Carolyn who has accompanied us on the journey, said that the in flight screen was reporting headwinds of 150 miles per hour. No wonder we felt like we were flying in a hurricane.

We reached Seoul with barely enough time to make our connection to Ho Chi Minh City. We were running to the gate to get there when they were boarding. We had an awesome trip to HCMC. The plane was relatively empty, so we each stretched out on an aisle, and it was smooth sailing.

We got to HCMC airport around 10:30 pm Saturday night, went through three security and customs checks and met our guides outside of the airport. The airport was a hub bub of activity and the word "hot" doesn't even begin to describe it. It is supposed to be 100 degrees all week and the humidity is extreme. I am thinking the pool looks like the perfect place to hang out.

We are not picking the girls up today, Sunday, but will pick them up tomorrow. This morning we got up around 5:30 am after having gone to sleep around 2:30 am but we were jet laggy and starving. We went to the hotel cafe and Al and Carolyn had the traditional American breakfast (eggs and bacon) and I had traditional Vietnamese Pho (soup). We then went grocery shopping in the store in the hotel and went back up to our room to get some things settled.

At 11:30 this morning we will meet the families that the agency was escorting just before us. They will be leaving this afternoon to go to Hanoi for the last leg of their trip. We'll get to meet their new babies as well.

Then this afternoon we'll walk around the hotel area to get a sense of our area - find shopping and restaurants, etc.

Tomorrow, Monday, will be a big day. We'll go as a group to two orphanages. We'll pick up the babies and then we will have five official appointments, including the Vietnamese Governement Giving and Recieving ceremony, passport offices, doctors, etc. They have told us to expect to be still working until late Monday night. It will be a big and confusing day for the girls I am sure.

Anyway, that is the scoop for now.

More later.

Love to all,

Tina

Side Effects and New Accomodations

2007-07-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

It turns out I am having a reaction to the malaria medicine. I started taking the med on Friday and by Saturday afternoon I had developed a rash all over my legs. Benadryl seems to have helped cleared it up. I looked at the warning booklet and it says something like "very few side effects are reported from this medication although serious allergic reaction can occur resulting in rash, etc. I considered stopping the medicine but have noticed that the rash seems to be easing even though I am going down on the Benadryl. Hopefully this won't be a problem as I have to be on this medicine for 2 months!

In other news, the hotel that we were expecting to stay in at HCMC is booked. Apparently everyone is in Vietnam right now (who knew) and hotels are a premium. We are going to be staying at this hotel:

www.somersetchancellorcourt.com

while in HCMC.

The influx of people into Vietnam right now isn't great news for us, because it means that even if we get all of our paperwork done early we likely won't be able to get an earlier flight out of Hanoi. I was hoping that we might not have to stay the full three weeks, but it looks likely we will have to.

The countdown continues.... we leave in 4 days.

Love Tina

Seven Days and Counting Pills

2007-07-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

Well, we leave a week from today. Our flight out is at 7:00 am but luckily out of our small regional airport so we don't have to leave too far in advance of the flight.

Today we started taking our malaria medicine and also aspirin because of the long flights.

We've had to go through a number of innoculations, including all the hep stuff, taking typhoid cultures, and other misc shots and pills. Now we are starting the malaria medicine. We'll have to take it for a week before we leave, the entire time we are in Vietnam, and for a month after we return. So about 8 weeks.

The meds were a challenge for us, mostly because I did not have my hep vaccines and one of them takes around 5 months to complete. I was concerned that I would not have the chance to get the last shot before I left however due to the delay in our G&R I was able to swing it.

One of our dear friends who wanted to accompany us to Vietnam was unable to do so because she did not have time to have the hep shots and both the agency and the government health organization does not recommend going to Vietnam without them.

Our wonderful, earth-angel cousin, Carolyn, will be coming on the trip with us, God Bless Her! The agency strongly recommended we bring another person because two babies that have just been uprooted from everything they know can be just too much to handle for one set of parents. We are so thankful that she is putting her life on hold and joining us. Can you imagine that? See how unbelievably blessed we are?

More before we go!

Love Tina

Nine Days Until We Leave

2007-07-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much else to say except... nine days until we leave.

I am slowly getting less nervous and just starting to relax. Al, on the other hand, has a deer-in-the-headlights look. Sort of stunned. Very quiet and stunned.

Neither one of us are particularly relishing the idea of the 27 hour trip, or even the first hours or days after we pick up the girls because we are aware that they could be grieving. But I can't wait until the first time one of the girls holds up her arms for her Daddy to pick her up. It will be very sweet to see.

I'll post again if I have any new news, or certainly before we leave, but I just wanted to throw a post out there in blogger land that we are getting closer and getting our things together for the trip.

Hopefully we'll be able to post daily when we are away and keep you informed of our goings on, or more importantly, upload new pictures of the girls, which seems to be the thing everyone is waiting for!

Love to all,
Tina

Christening Date ... again

2007-06-26T05:53:00.001-07:00

Ok folks. Since our travel dates kept moving (but hopefully are locked in now) our christening date has had to move too.

The new date is Sunday September 2 at 2:00 pm. We hope this works better for all of our out-of-towners, giving an extra day to travel home.

Not sure how elegantly we'll handle invitations as the christening is just 3 weeks after we get home, but mark your calendars now!

Love to all,
Tina

Sprouting Mushrooms

2007-06-25T06:13:00.000-07:00

Imagine what it would feel like if all of a sudden your palms sprouted mushrooms.

Yesterday Al and I were at our favorite breakfast place and he looked at me all happy and said "26 days!". I suddenly felt what can only be called mushrooms of sweat start popping out on my palms. It was the oddest thing. Pure anxiety I guess. Have you ever felt such a thing? Wow.

Then, last night, Al and I were sitting out on our patio. Glass of wine, BBQ, cool breeze, etc. You get the picture. A boucolic scene that doesn't involve the chasing around of twins. I had the baby book in front of me and was reading out the list of what we needed to consider for baby proofing. Al started getting paler and paler. I think reality is finally setting in for him and I bet he had mushrooms of sweat sprouting out on his palms too.

This morning he didn't tell me how many days we had to go. Some mean part of me is glad that I have company in being petrified... at least for now!

Love Tina

Our Travel Dates

2007-06-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

Ok. We're booked.

We leave on July 20 and arrive in Ho Chi Minh City late at night on the 21st.

I was thinking that we'd have the day Sunday to go about prepping the apartment, but our coordinator in Vietnam just told us that if we arrive on Saturday night they might just take us over to the orphanage to get the girls on Sunday.

At this point we are booked to come home on August 9, arriving back around 5:00 pm.

We love the travel agent that the agency recommended and for a few extra dollars we had her arrange to have us fly in and out of the small airport that is about 5 minutes from our house. It makes for a slightly longer trip because there is a layover with that route, but we don't have to worry about driving home several hours from one of the other airports.

First thing Al said this morning was "32 days." Cute.

Love Tina

WE HAVE A G & R DATE !!!

2007-06-13T05:39:00.000-07:00

Well, we have what we've been waiting for, a Giving and Receiving Date as assigned by the Vietnamese governement!

Our G & R date is July 23. We are going to attempt to arrive in Ho Chi Minh City no later than July 21 so we have at least one full day to prepare the apartment for the two weeks in HCMC. Grocieries, diapers, formula, etc. Food, coffee, coffee, coffee, etc.

If we arrive Saturday evening we can work on getting things ready on Sunday and then will be picking the girls up very early Monday morning at the orphanage and going immediately from the orphanage to the Giving and Receiving ceremony. We will have four official appointments on Mondaythe 23rd and then will be waiting around for our documents to process (appx 2 weeks) before we head to Hanoi for the last leg of the trip.

We are really happy to have the date but are still sad that the girls are going to be almost 8 months old. Hopefully we'll feel better about that when we actually see them and hold them and make sure for ourselves that they are ok.

The funny thing is that Al, who has been cool as a cucumber through all of this, had the news hit him like a ton of bricks last night. When we picked up the message from the agency and had to call back he just collapsed into a chair and wouldn't get up. I was like "honey, come on, we've got to call the agency" and he just stared at me and said "I am frozen with fear." My husband... the human popsicle.

Actually, that had been my exact reaction the day we received our referral. He just had a delay of 4 months.

Well, next we are going to start gathering our things together, processing for our visa's, make flight arrangements, etc. We'll continue to update you with news and other random musings.

Love Tina

The Simple Life Goes to Vietnam

2007-06-11T06:42:00.001-07:00

Dreams are a strange thing. For those of you who know me, you know that I don't really like to watch television. Not some intellectual snobbism, I just really don't like it too much. And, when I do watch television there are basically three things I watch... CNN, Food Network, and the Deadliest Catch.

So how is it possible that I had a dream last night that I was one of the people on The Simple Life and myself, Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton were going to Vietnam to adopt babies?

I think it says alot about how I view my potential parenting skills.

Yikes.

Some Travel Information - but not the best

2007-05-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

OK, it was not news we wanted to hear, but it looks like we will not be traveling to pick up the girls until mid July.

I am not really sure of what the slow down is, unless of course, it is just that things are bogged down in general in Vietnam, but we have been reassured by the agency that we will be in the next group to travel and that it looks like it will be in mid July.

What I really hate about this is that the girls will be 7 1/2 months old and each day that goes by makes me worry that their adjustment to us, and the bonding process, will be harder. Not to mention physical delays, etc. While I love this age for babies, I think it is a really cute time, I am not happy that several months ago parents were getting their travel dates quicker and the babies were younger, some just 4 or 5 months old. The extra time is a big deal for a kid in an orphanage. A couple of extra months do matter. But we are trying to relax and trust that it will all work out.

Al is much more comfortable now that we have a date range and he feels that the time will go quickly. Me, on the other hand, while I am totally enjoying our life just the two of us, I think I am much more aware of the time ticking by and what it means to the health of the girls.

We will likely not have any more definitive news until the end of June or the beginning of July when our G&R date is set, and then we'll have to be prepared to move fast at that time.

Love to all,
Tina

First Comes Love Then Comes Weeping

2007-05-30T07:00:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we received a wonderful gift from friends of ours. Beatiful, snuggly soft blankets for the girls with their names embroidered on them. But there was something else that was equally beautiful. A handwritten card that had love flowing right out of it. Actually flowing right out! Ilona, I really hope you don't mind (and Algis assured me that you wouldn't) but you wrote something in your card to us that has moved me beyond belief and that I'd really like to share with our friends because it was so beautiful. Part of the card read:

"Allow us to enter the circle of your community as we welcome your daughters Ilona and Maia... may we all hold hands around them and let them feel how much they are already loved."

Of course I was weeping like the silly thing I am as I was reading this note. That single sentence has summed up how I've felt about our family and friends throughout our journey - and while I've struggled putting it into words I think that it has been put so beautifully above by our friend. Her words show how our community is already encircling the girls with love. And I cannot help but think of how Ilona and Maia, lying in their cribs half a world away, haven't a clue about what awaits them when they get home!

When I think about it I am just so in awe of all of you.

I have never been so inspired in all my life.

Truly.

Love Tina

News Coming Soon!

2007-05-29T05:21:00.001-07:00

While we don't have any formal news just yet about our travel dates we did hear from our contact in Vietnam that we will be in the next group traveling. There are 12 families waiting for their G&R dates, of which 7 will be assigned any day. We have been confirmed that we are one of the 7, so we will be in the next group.

Things sure have slowed down in Vietnam since we joined the program. We are now hearing of waits up to 24 months for a referral. And because there is such an influx of people wanting to adopt from Vietnam I think all of the government offices there are being bogged down. It has been three months since our referral and when we received the referral we were told we would travel in 2 to 3 months. We are already well behind that scenario. Now the agency is telling new families 4 to 6 months. The timeframes for everything in Vietnam are just stretching.

We just want to go, get our girls, and bring them home. While I am tired of the stretching timeframes I am also acutely aware that we have been quite lucky with our timing so far.

Hope to write more soon.

Love Tina

On Attachment, Bonding and Why We Have to Do What We Will Be Doing

2007-05-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

A consistent theme to my blogs has been the amazing support and excitement we have within our community of friends and family about the girls. There are countless people that are so eager to meet them and to be a part of their lives.

Which makes it a little strange to talk about the "attachment parenting" that we have to do as parents of adoptees that have been in an institution, which could initially look like we would be excluding community.

While hopefully our girls won't be in an orphanage for too much longer, the fact is that they have been there since birth and have already changed, developed, grown and have learned so much. And something that does happen with institutionalized infants is something known as "attachment disorder."

Because some of you have asked, I am including a list of some of the signs of attachment disorder. Interestingly, one sign is an infant that is actually too good. One that does not cry or one that allows strangers to handle them. This could mean that they have learned that crying is not productive, or that there is no correlation between their crying for a need and the need being met. Or that they have not learned to attach to one caregiver so never really learn to trust or create a bond with another person. Obviously this can create lifelong problems, so we are going to be taking a very aggressive and proactive approach to combatting any potential issues.

Here are some symptoms of attachment disorder:

1. Cries; miserable all the time, chronically fussy
2. Resists comforting or nurturance
3. Resists or dislikes being held
4. Poor eye contact or avoids eye contact
5. Flat, lifeless affect (too quiet)
6. Likes playpen or crib more than being held
7. Rarely cries (overly good baby)
8. Angry or rageful when cries
9. Exceedingly demanding
10. Looks sad or empty-eyed
11. Delayed milestones (creeping, crawling, etc.)
12. Stiffens or becomes rigid when held
13. Likes to be in control
14. Does not hold on when held (no reciprocal holding)
15. When held chest to chest, faces away
16. Doesn’t like head touched (combed, washed)
17. Generally unresponsive to parent
18. Cries or rages when held beyond his wishes
19. Overly independent play or makes no demands
20. Reaches for others to hold him rather than parent
21. Little or reduced verbal responsiveness
22. Does not return smiles
23. Shows very little imitative behavior
24. Prefers Dad to Mom
25. Gets in and out of parents lap frequently
26. Physically restless when sleeping
27. Does not react to pain (high pain tolerance)

While the list above obviously covers a lot of territory, we will have to be on the lookout for whether we are seeing a multidude of these symptoms so that we can take some proactive actions.

With that being said, however, because the girls come from an institution/orphanage the agency recommendation is for Al and I to begin IMMEDIATELY with attachment parenting. This means that Al and I are to be the only caretakers for the first couple of months. We are supposed to be the only ones to feed the girls, diaper the girls, comfort the girls and bathe the girls. They also recommend "wearing" the girls as much as possible - using a sling, etc. The goal is to create an environment where the girls see Al and I as the two people who will take care of them and nurture them. (Interestingly, it is actually recommended in the case of a single adoption that just the mother be the caretaker for the first several weeks, however as we are adopting twins that is next to impossible.)

I wanted all of you to be aware of this distinction between the initial parenting of institutionalized children vs. biological children or children adopted domestically and brought to their new home within the first few days of their lives and keep in mind that differences in behavior between them and the biological children or early adoption children in your families may actually be good. For instance, it would be a good sign for the girls to cling to Al and I initially, it is a good sign for them to want to be held alot by Al and I and to fuss when put down, it is a good sign for them to go a little less easily to strangers. It means that the bonding process is working. While this will put an additional burden on Al and I, who will undoubtably be pretty tired and in need of support, if all goes well we should have a couple of happy and well adjusted girls in a few months.

I just wanted to make sure that those of you who already know and love the girls are also aware of some of the more challenging aspects of adoption and to fully understand why Al and I may do some things for them differently than you have done with your children! It's not that we won't want to share them (because I can assure you that after about 2 days we'll be dying to do so!) but that we are following the strict advice of our agency.

We are continued to be blessed by the support of our family and friends, and to receive fantastic coaching from a team of social workers and adoption experts at the agency to help us through our first several months together.

Let the games begin!

Love Tina

Will Today Be the Day?

2007-05-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

Will today be the day we get our travel dates? We have been waking up every morning for the past month wondering if today is the day. We want to believe today is the day but are scared to hope for it. How silly is that? How long can this continue? We are making ourselves crazy.

It is seriously like we are in the stages of grief as defined by Kubler-Ross:
1. Denial (trying to pretend that we aren't on the verge of picking up our sweeties because it is easier to be in the now)
2. Anger (why isn't this happening faster? why isn't our agency communicating better? How are we supposed to plan our life and work? blah blah blah)
3. Bargaining (I'll give up this piece of cheesecake if you'll just send me my travel dates!)
4. Depression (it'll never happen, we won't be picking the girls up till they are ready for college, and so on)
5. Acceptance (fine. This is just the way it is.)

Only we are not in grief. We are excited and ecstatic. We are not facing terminal illness but are waiting for something wonderful and exciting. It causes me to wonder if we go through these very same stages when we are waiting/aniticipating anything at all, whether it be something very good or something not so good.

We do have one additional stage, excitement, but other than that we seem to be going through a roller coaster of emotion!

It's all good on this side, though. We are trying to stay focused on our daily routine and concentrating on doing things with each other that might not be as easy to do once we get our girls home (such as that 3 mile morning walk by the water!).

I did want to say that I've heard from several of you that you are checking the site regularly for updates and it really warms my heart. It also warms my heart how many of you say to me "when are we getting our babies? I'm getting impatient!" I love that a whole community of people are claiming these girls as their own. I think of them over there in Vietnam, snug in their cribs, having absolutely no clue of the number of people 1/2 way across the world waiting for them !

As always, we'll keep you posted, either with whining about no news or better yet, when we actually receive some good news!

Love Tina

It's All About the Wait

2007-05-09T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yep, the waiting game. We're in it.

For the past three weeks we have been waiting for the call to go to Vietnam. The call can come at any time. This part is pretty hard. I am thinking that the girls are growing up and that all of the clothes that we had bought for them are going to be too small, and I am just concerned that the longer the wait the harder it is going to be for them to handle all of the disruption. It is hard to believe how resiliant they are going to have to be, leaving their orphanage and the nannies that they have known their whole lives, being thrust in the arms of complete and foreign-looking strangers, staying in hotels, new bottles, new formula, flying, etc. I think we really have to keep in mind how stressful this could be for them. One thing I feel very lucky about, though, is that they have each other. They will always have a familiar face through all of the changes.

I hope to have a travel date posted for everyone soon!

Love Tina

A surprise at work

2007-04-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, the 27th, my colleagues at work threw me a baby shower. It was really very nice and a true surprise.

Apparently, however, there is a tradition where ribbons and a paper plate are used to make a hat and the poor Mom-to-be is expected to wear it. This is the good picture of me (that tells you something about the other pictures) with the hat. I post this picture as a permanent reminder to always be humble. In case I ever forget myself I can log on, view it, and have an instant attitude adjustment.

The really cool thing about the get together, aside from everything, is that there was a book theme, so we received a ton of really cool books for the girls.

This was fantastic because I love to read and I can't wait to read to the girls. I hope they love reading too. Certainly they will have a better chance than most to love reading because of all of the wonderful books that we received. So thank you everyone!!

Love Tina

On Community, Family and Love

2007-04-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, April 14, two of my great friends schemed and threw Al and I a big baby shower. I don't know how these two pulled it off, because they are both so busy with work and family life, but suffice to say that they are nothing short of true wonderpeople.

I was so moved by the number of people that came out to celebrate the imminent (hopefully) arrival of Maia and Ilona. The thing that moved me was that everyone was so excited by the girls, so charmed by their pictures, so impatient about when they were coming. I felt in that moment, maybe more than ever before in my life, what it is like to truly be embraced by a huge family - to share joys and shoulder sorrows. More than ever I saw that it is impossible to stand alone, to be an island. We are all connected and sharing is truly one of the great beauties of the human race.

While many people came long distances to attend our wedding it seemed even more meaningful to me that the very same people came the very same distances to celebrate the girls. It warms my heart and fills me with hope for the future that this community will be the community that will raise Maia and Ilona with us.

How lucky we all are to have you as part of our lives.

Thank you so much,
Tina (for Al, Ilona and Maia)

Please Note Date Change!

2007-04-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that the Christening Date for Maia and Ilona has changed. It is now set for Sunday August 12th at 2:00 pm. The church where the ceremony is taking place is the same church where Tina and Al got married.

We will e-mail everyone with more details in the future.

We hope everyone can make it.

Warmest Regards,
Al

New Pictures of the Girls!

2007-04-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Maia Angelina Thanh

Ilona Vita Hoang

Today we received a wonderful gift... new pictures of the girls! Aren't they cute? What a nice surprise. As in their referral photo's, Maia is staring straight into the camera and Ilona has her
eyes closed. I wonder what that says about their personalities?

Anyway, I am just so happy that the agency sent new pictures and that the girls appear happy, healthy and well. Their latest medical reports show that they are gaining weight pretty quickly, so hopefully all the clothes that we bought for them won't be too small!

I just wanted to share the good news as quickly as possible.

Now if we could only get a travel date!

Love Tina

Will we EVER get a travel date?

2007-04-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

The last few days I am just feeling like we will never ever get a travel date. I know, I am whining, I just can't stand having everything just hanging out there with no end in sight. At least if you are pregnant you know that your pregnancy can't go beyond a certain point.

I just want to go get the girls and get on with our lives instead of hanging around in limbo.

We did receive some information from our agency although nothing that directly effects us yet. It appears 12 families traveled in March to pickup their children and so far only two are scheduled for April so far. There are 14 families (we are one of them) waiting for their travel schedules. It seems to me that there ought to be a big surge for families traveling at the end of April if the trend holds up - G&R dates would just need to be in by mid April. Of course, my opinion about how things should be really doesn't matter.

Anyway, I've got nothing. I'm just stumbling along trying to create a scenario that fits in with how I want things to be. We'll see how well that works out!

:-)

Love Tina

The Beautiful Flowers

2007-04-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Al and I went to our favorite Vietnamese restaurant Saturday. Of course, everyone there knows about the girls and are very excited to meet them. They have a lot of questions for us, about where exactly the girls are from, if we know anything about their biological parents, etc. They also have told us it is extremely rare for Vietnamese to have twins - "not like in America" they say.

The owner of the restaurant told us that Maia's Vietnamese name, Thanh Cuc, means green flower and Ilona's Vietnamese name, Hoang Cuc, means pink flower.

Isn't that beautiful?

Save the Date... July 8!

2007-03-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you so inclined, save the date of July 8 at 2:00 pm for the Christening of Maia and Ilona. We have to book up time well in advance at our parish, so Al went ahead and scheduled a date and time today.

That is, of course, as long as we are home by July 8! I am getting more and more anxious for travel news.

I've heard that this is the hardest time - after referral but waiting for travel dates. I'd have to agree. I am just making myself crazy worrying that something is going to happen, or that travel will be delayed, etc. It must be a Mom thing because about 10 hours after the referral news I went from shock to worrying about everything... are they healthy? will they be healthy until we get there? will they be healthy when we get home? when will we travel? what if something is wrong with the paperwork? what if we don't travel and return before Al is supposed to start school at the end of May? You get the picture.

Anyway, if everything goes as we think it will go as of today, we'll be having the Christening on July 8 at 2:00 - so mark your calendars!

Love Tina

Faux Baby?

2007-03-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my friend Lori brought me a babydoll that belongs to her daughter, Carly.

My idea was to use a doll to give Al a quick lesson in diaper changing! He has never changed a diaper and as the average baby goes through 2,100 diapers in a year, and we are going to have two babies, he is going to be doing more than his fair share of changing 4,200 diapers.

While he will figure it out pretty quickly when we are in Vietnam I decided I'd break him in gently on a doll, and then graduate him to Gracie, one of our dachshunds, because she would hate it and wiggle around, which would give him good practice with a squirmy kid!

Anway, this doll is very realistic looking plus it makes all kinds of baby cooing and giggling noises. When I get home with the doll I decide that it will be a good thing to prepare our dogs for the new babies too. So I walk around the kitchen with the dollbaby over my shoulder, patting its hiney and rocking it. The dogs are pretty interested but are polite. I sit down on the sofa and our dachshund Gracie decides she doesn't like it, so starts barking at it. This was good because it gave me a chance to correct her and show her that everything was ok but that she shouldn't bark at the baby.

Oliver, our other dachshund, decides he very much likes the baby. He doesn't think it is a toy. He thinks it is alive. He gently licks its cheek and then licks its hand and laid down in front of it as if to protect it. This was great.

So as if our lives aren't kooky enough, I plan on spending some time each evening burping and cuddling a babydoll so that we don't have any issues with our two current babies (Gracie and Oliver!) when the two new babies (Maia and Ilona) arrive!

Thanks, Carly, for the loaner!

Love Tina

Why Adoption and Why Vietnam?

2007-03-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

Because a number of people have asked us these questions I thought I'd post a quick thought on the matters.

Why adoption? Al and I decided that although we are able to have biological children we would prefer to build our family through adoption. I probably have alot to do with that choice, as I was adopted myself as an infant through Catholic Charities. I had such a wonderful family - my parents were the best in the world - that Al and I wanted to provide a similar experience to a child that might not have a family otherwise.

Why Vietnam? When I was a young child - maybe four years old - my Mom and Dad took me back to the orphanage that I had stayed at as a baby just to show me around. I remember there was one room full of African-American toddlers, running around in white diapers and playing with toys. I remember a beautiful white woman in a fur coat stepping over the baby gate and a little child coming running up to her to hug her. I was very young and being young thought that the woman was going to be adopting the baby. I asked her if she was going to take the baby home and she was sort of embarrassed and told me no, she would not be taking the baby home. The answer wasn't good enough for me and I pestered my parents for the duration of the visit for a reason why the woman wasn't go to adopt the baby. It appeared to me that they loved each other and I couldn't understand why the baby was staying in the orphanage. I remember my Mom gently telling me that most of the time parents wanted to adopt children that looked like them, and that the baby did not look like the woman. I remembered back to the room of toddlers and remembered that they all had dark skin. I remember as clearly as if it was yesterday looking down at my white arm and thinking that if my skin wasn't the color it was I probably wouldn't have my family. This was a scary realization for a little one, and I think somehow in that moment I decided that I when I grew up I'd help give a family to kids that might not otherwise have one. Not to be dramatic or holier than thou... it is just the plain truth.

When we began to exploring adoption our agency told us that Vietnam was begging for families. The country had just opened up again and there were many children that needed homes. So we settled on Vietnam and the rest is history. Ironically, of all children in Vietnam, twins can have a hard time being placed, because of the work and the expense. So we are happy and feel we are blessed to be able to provide a home for our two girls.

More about travel timing

2007-03-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

We don't have any specific information about travel at this time, however we did just learn that once we receive our "signing" date from the Vietnamese government we will have to travel within two weeks. Which doesn't give us alot of time to get visa's and figure out flights, etc. We were hoping to use frequent flyer miles for the trip, which would save us alot of money, however we are hearing that with that short notice it can be hard to get a flight. Also, if we finish the process early (it would be great) or late (let's hope not) the miles are often very inflexible and hard to change.

We'll see.

Other than that, Al and I pretty much finished the nursery this weekend, got baby clothes off the living room floor and hung up, folded, put away, etc. The dogs were not happy about this turn of events as they've decided rooting around in the baby clothes is their new favorite thing. The nursery completion is a great relief to me, because I've been a banshee trying to get ourselves setup in case we have to leave quickly. I can relax alittle bit now. The second crib should arrive next week and that will be the last thing we need to have the room ready for the girls.

Love Tina

A few more details...

2007-03-13T04:15:00.000-07:00

In between the freak out sessions that Al and I are having trying to get a new (bigger) nursery in order and to prepare for two babies instead of one, we are finding out a bit more about our girls.

We found out that it appears, at least initially, that Maia and Ilona are identical twins, rather than fraternal. They are sleeping in one crib right now, but when they are big enough they'll move to two cribs. I am happy that they are together and want to make sure that we are setting up things at home so that they will be as comfortable as possible during their transition from Vietnamese Orphanage to Forever Family.

We have heard that the girls are an extreme rarity. In almost 400 adoptions our facilitors have not ever had a set of twin girls. They have had a couple of sets of twin boys, but no girls. Of course, from the moment we saw them we knew they were special :-) but now we are starting to see that they are a special blessing not just for us but for our families and friends too. It is funny how things work.

It has been amazing to see the outpouring of excitement, encouragement and enthusiasm that we've been experiencing from all of you. Your hearts are all so big to want to help us and to want to be a part of our girls. It is overwhelming, really, to be on the receiving end of so much love.

We can't wait for each of you to meet Maia and Ilona - or as my wonderful friend Kim refers to them - the Vietnamese Princesses!

Love to you all,
Tina

A little more about travel

2007-03-08T10:29:00.000-08:00

We had our travel meeting with the agency Tuesday via: conference call along with 14 other families. We found out a bit more about our travel plans.

The next step in the process is that we will receive our "signing" date from the Vietnamese governement. The date refers to the date that we will have our Giving and Receiving Ceremony. This is the ceremony where the Vietnamese government "gives" you the child and where you "receive" the child. At this point, as far as the Vietnamese government is concerned, the adoption is final. This ceremony occurs the first full day we are in Vietnam. Once the Giving and Receiving date is assigned by the Vietnamese government our agency will contact us and we can start making our travel plans. We'll need to have visas issued, our airline and hotel arrangements made, etc.

We will be staying for two weeks in Ho Chi Minh City at the following hotel:

www.somersethochiminhcity.com

We'll have a two bed two bath apartment that is fully equipped with kitchen, laundry, etc. The hotel has a restaurant, a store, room service, laundry service, etc. The flight will take a long time, probably a minimum of 24 hours and it could be quite a bit longer depending on our route and layovers, etc.

Our flight will likely arrive late in the evening and then early the next morning we will go to the orphanage to pick up the girls. We'll then leave the orphanage to make a string of official appointments, all with the goal of having the passports ready as soon as possible. For most of the two weeks in Ho Chi Minh City we will be waiting around for the passports, so there will be tours organized for the adopting families to sightsee and learn as much about the culture as possible. Our agency has already warned us that families with twins often cannot get it together enough to make most of the tours, so we are setting the bar low on being able to do anything other than get a cup of coffee in the morning and calling in for room service. I would probably be content to hang by the pool, and the poolside lounge. Look on the website to see what I mean!

After we receive the girls passports we fly to Hanoi for our appointment with the US Embassy. We will be staying for about a week here:

www.sheraton.com.vn

You have to drill down into pictures to see that the hotel is actually waterfront on a beautiful large lake.

Both hotels look great and have alot of amenities that should make our life as easy as possible.

Overall timing still looks like we'll be leaving in two to three months, or the end of April into May, and that we'll be in the country for about three weeks.

We also found out that the girls are sleeping together in one crib right now, that they are very small so that we should plan on bringing 3-6 mos clothing, and that the orphanage that they are in is called Picasso because it was founded by the neice of Pablo Picasso.

Our facilitor, Sandy, who is beyond wonderful, knows our girls very well and assures us they are just adorable and in good health.

Thank you to all of our family and friends who have responded so wonderfully to our news. We are still reeling a little to try to get prepared for two instead of one, but it has been so heartening that so many of you are excited for us and can't wait to meet Maia and Ilona. They are lucky, as are we, to have such a loving family and group of friends.

I'll update as soon as we get more news. We've been hearing from a few of you that you'd like to see the site update more often so once I have any more shards of information I will pass them on in this site!

Love Tina

Surprises ...

2007-02-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

Well, yesterday was a day full of surprises. Around 3:00pm the agency called Al to ask him how we felt about twins... they had a set of twin girls that were available but we needed to give them an answer right away. Al frantically tracked me down and after just a moment or two of conversation we agreed to the referral of twin girls, without even having looked at photo's, medical, etc.

Later, we were able to see our two new girls, looking very teeny tiny, and read a bit about their history. I think I figured out how to load up their images but I am still pretty dorky with this blog thing. I can't figure out titles, yet, etc, but suffice to say that although there are four pictures there are only two babies.

They were born 11/29/06 and the agency is telling us to expect to travel in two - three months, or by the end of April to the end of May.

So ... these are our girls. The first two pictures, the one with the blue towel under her head, is Maia Angelina Thanh, and the second two pictures, the one with the pink towel under her head, is Ilona Vita Hoang.

Somehow today, less than 24 hours after our news, I went from being shell shocked and panicked, to just wanting to bring the girls home and to make sure they are happy and healthy.

More later as my thought processes return to normal and we catch our breath.

Love to all,

Tina

No Progress But Some Information

2007-02-20T09:49:00.000-08:00

This weekend our agency had their annual Asian New Year celebration. Al and I decided to go and celebrate and were surprised that there were hundreds of families participating. We were fortunate enough to sit with a family that had adopted their daughter from Vietnam and then, through them, met another family that had adopted a daughter from Vietnam and a son from Nepal. We also met the couple who will be escorting us around the country and through them found out some information about our stay and the approximate timing.

We found out that we should plan on being in Vietnam for at least 3 weeks and that we'll spend two of those weeks in HCMC at an apartment complex. We'll have a two bedroom apartment with living room, kitchen, dining room, etc. The complex will also have a restaurant, room service, and a grocery store for any supplies that we will need. We found out that most likely we'll be picking up our child and having the G&R (Giving and Receiving Ceremony - which is the point that Vietnam considers the adoption final) the second day that we are there. We will then have three more weeks in the country going through the things that we have to do for the US to consider the adoption legal. After about 2 weeks we'll fly to Hanoi for our appointments at the US Embassy.

We found out that the children are typically about 6 mos old at the time of travel.

We are still number 9 on the list for a little girl. In January there were nine referrals, all for boys. We were told that there were a number of referrals that are ready to be sent to the agency - 8 0r 9, but unless all the referrals are for girls - which is unlikely - we won't receive a referral in this next batch. It is possible that we will receive our referral in April or May, and then travel three months after the referral, in July or August, returning home in August or September. It is very hot in HCMC in August.

That is all the news for now. Not really any progress but just some basic information.

Love Tina

No News

2007-02-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note to say that we have nothing to say. :-)

We heard from the adoption agency the other day and while there were nine referrals in January they were all for little boys. So we haven't moved up yet - we are still number 9 on the list for a little girl. The agency is expecting a few more referrals fairly soon, and then the country will close down for a few weeks to celebrate Tet - Vietnamese New Year.

We will be going to the Aisan New Year party that our agency hosts on February 17. Last year they had 900 local parents who had adopted children from Asia. Most of the children were born in China, a much smaller percentage having been born in Vietnam. We are so lucky that we live in an area where there are many children from Asia and where there is a large community that our family will be part of.

We are looking forward to celebrating the New Year this year and hope there will be three of us celebrating next year.

Cheers to everyone!

Love Tina

Number Nine

2006-12-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

Since our last post we found that there had been a few errors in our dossier. Even though all the docs had been approved by both the state and the Vietnamese Embassy we had to redo a couple of items. Not a big deal, and we've corrected the errors. We have since found out that we are number nine for a little girl. We'll keep you up to date as we progress up the list! Love to all.

Dossier Log In

2006-12-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we delivered our dossier to the agency in PA. The agency "logged" our dossier into the system which is a most important step. Once our dossier is logged in we are officially on the waiting list in Vietnam. It turns out we are number 11 in line for a little girl. The agency was expecting two referrals this week which would move us up to 9th in line. At this point the agency is suggesting we would most likely travel in May or June, which isn't ideal as it is very rainy in Vietnam during that time. I was hoping that we'd travel in March or April, but we'll travel when the agency tells us to travel! Things are unpredictable at best so there is no sense making any plans at this point. Based on this new information we would probably expect a referral for a child in March. The referral is the next big step, with nothing much happening between now and then. We'll let everyoneknow when we receive the referral information!

Go Embassy!

2006-11-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

We just received our "legalized" paperwork from the Vietnamese embassy in DC! This is pretty surprising to us because we had been told that the embassy was moving slowly lately and that it would take 4+ weeks to have our paperwork returned. It was actually returned in just over 1 week. Much as everything else has been going with our Vietnamese adoption it happened much faster than we had planned.

So our next steps will be to pull together our other dossier papers, bring them to the agency for approval, and then have them shipped to Vietnam (with a big fat check of course). We were thinking the dossier would be arriving in Vietnam in the beginning of January, now it looks like it will be arriving in Vietnam in the beginning of December.

So I guess our next steps will be:
1. Dossier to Vietnam
2. Dossier log in with the Vietnamese governement
3. Referral of a child
4. Travel

We are still not sure of our timing, and as our process has proven the timing is unpredictable at best. We'll continue to update the blog when items of importance happen.

Cheers.

Introduction

2006-11-27T10:31:00.000-08:00

We'll be using this site to update family and friends about the status of our Vietnam adoption. We started the adoption process in June and our paperwork has just gone to the Vietnamese embassy in Washington DC for legalization. We are hearing that the embassy is a bit backed up on the paperwork side of things so it may be several weeks before our documents are returned to us even though we paid for them to be expedited. At this point, we believe that we'll have our paperwork to Vietnam by the end of December, possibly have a referral by the end of February and travel at the end of April. This is all supposition at this point, international adoption being what it is. But we will continue to post changes and updates as they happen. Thanks for all the well wishes from our family and friends!